She’s Gone

Oh I miss her sometimes
I remember when she used to be here
With me
Standing beside me
Through life
Through the trials
The tribulations
The struggles
The pain
She never lost hope
She always remained strong
She had faith
She believed
She was better than me
By miles and miles
But now she’s gone
She’s left me in the dark
Where she’s gone
I haven’t a clue
I wouldn’t even know
Where to start
To look for her
To find her again
To bring her back to me
I want her in my life
But she’s lost to time
The ages have taken her
The past is her home
And I’m not allowed there
Anymore
Oh where’d she go
Where’d she go
Why’d she have to leave me so
She was brave
She was strong
She knew life would work out
She hadn’t been broken yet
Oh I wish to meet her again
Some day
When the sun is shining
On the blue water
Of that small seaside town she loves
I hope some day
She’ll make her return
But I’ve lost my belief
In that happy ending
Because every time
I look into the mirror
I realize she’s left me forever
Because we used to share the same eyes
The same lips
The same hair
And now
I see an imposter
She’s left me
That girl I used to be
She’s nowhere to be found
In the reflections that I see
Maybe one day
Our green eyes will meet
Once again
And we can hold each other
Just like old friends.

Original Work: KH 12/11/14

Morning Light

You are that hour of the day
The one right before the sunrises
Right before it’s officially dawn
When you can see everything begin to lighten
When the dark blanket of night
Is removed from the sky
Who’s gasping for breath
And freedom
And the warmth of the sun
Rather than the cool embrace
Of the silver midnight moon
You lie in bed
And see everything go from total darkness
To a lighter shade of grey
And eventually the colors of the sky blend together
Onto a canvas of blue
Mingled with shades golden light
Streaking across the pale sky
Awakening from a quiet slumber
Wrapping all of us in those loving arms
You are that time of day
Of morning
When the darkness leaves
And light takes over
When all the colors of morning
Paint the heavens
And you can see everything get lighter and lighter
Until the sun is beaming
And it covers you in gold
As I see you sleeping next to me
At peace
Sleep my love
This is your time of day
My man of golden morning light
I’ll see you when the sun has wrapped her arms around us all
And kindly warmed the earth
You can wrap me up too
And warm me with the heat of your skin
On mine
You’re the perfect time of day
My love
I wait for you every morning
Like I wait for the sun.

Original Work: KH 12/11/14

Novel Working Title: Sweet Home Chicago

Part 1: Jimmy

Ch. 1: The End, and The Beginning

Jimmy Lewis stood against the floor to ceiling windows that filled his large corner office in Lower Manhattan, staring at the world below him, and wondered how easily the glass would break, and how long it would take him to fall to earth, and splash across the pavement. Such was his life now that things had taken this turn for the worse, and there was nothing he could do to stop the derailment of not only his career, but his life. So he stood there, quietly, as the rest of the office outside his closed door raged on, people screaming and throwing things, trying to get rid of the evidence before the FBI showed up in a couple of minutes, and pondered how hard he would have to work to break the glass and fall through the air, tumbling down, down, down, before he hit the sidewalk and found release.

“Mr. Lewis! Mr. Lewis! What are you doing!? Why are you just standing there!? They’ll be here any minute, why aren’t you shredding and burning stuff? Do you want to go to prison? Honestly? Because you’re halfway there right now. Do something! Why are you leaning against the glass like that!?”

Jimmy heard Sarah, and understood what she was saying, but he truly did not care. He didn’t care if he went to prison, since he wouldn’t be able to live in his home anymore anyway, might as well find a new place to live, won’t have to buy clothes anymore if he made his home in a cell. Jimmy realized this might not be the best response to the FBI busting into the office, and searching for evidence, which would surely include his name, and what he’d done, but he had lost the will to care, and therefore would continue to lean against the window until the agents showed up, and tore what was left of the office apart. Sarah continued to scream at him as he stood there, urging him to move and do something, try to help himself, since she was done trying to help him. He knew he hadn’t been a very good boss to her, but he would make sure she wasn’t implicated in any of this, no matter what, he figured that was the least he could do. He figured, maybe it was time to build up some good karma, especially since he might be needing good luck where he was going. He pushed as hard as he could on the glass of those tall windows, but realized he wouldn’t be able to break them; they were strong for a reason, so people like him couldn’t jump when everything fell apart. He figured they’d started doing that after all the stockbrokers jumped from their windows during the market crash of ’29. Sarah continued to talk, and he finally turned around, and said,

“Sarah, honestly, I don’t care what happens to me. Go home. Just leave. You don’t need to be here when everything falls apart completely, just get out now. You were a great office assistant, I was lucky to have you, truly, and I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you when all of this goes down. Just please, leave now, and let me be. I want to bask in the glory of my failure in private. Thank you, Sarah.”

He hugged her, as her body hung limp in his arms, unsure whether to reciprocate, since this had never happened before. Eventually, she wrapped her arms around him, whispered a quiet thank you, and turned around and left. Jimmy had the office to himself again, and tried to think of new ways to break the glass. Continue reading

How Much?

How much time ticked away
As each day
After day
I grew older
But not wiser
I grew up
But fell down
I had dreams so big
They could crush all of humanity
For they were certainly crushing me
Where did it all go?
All those minutes
Hours
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
I have no way to mark the time
No memories to guide me
So I know
I’ve been alive
I’m drowning in indifference
And aching sadness
Consuming my mind
Like a dense fog
In the early morning
Unwilling to lift
Until broken
By light of day
My soul is hit by a tidal wave
And it shakes me to my core
I stumble and fall
And I must teach myself
To remain on my two feet
At what age
Do I become strong
And sturdy?
Time cracks me open
And all of my rambling thoughts
And pointless daydreams
Come pouring out
Like the explosion of a star
Or a comet streaking midnight sky
And I feel full of light
Hurtling into endless night
Eternal darkness
My mind gets lost in dark matter
And I am left with time in my hands
Spilling out
Like water I cannot hold
As my tears mix in
And create a mess
Of broken dreams
And lost life
Broken hearts
And lost time.

Original Work: KH 11/20/14

Short Story: 35

Chapter 4: Freedom

She awoke in a haze of confusion, unsure of everything that had transpired, and its basis in reality. She felt as though something was different, but she wasn’t sure what that something was, or how it related to her. Everything was beginning to feel like some kind of odd dream, as if she had lost her grasp on reality again. The sheets of this bed felt unfamiliar, starched and white as could be, with just a hint of bleach wafting through the air. She was lying in bed, looking at all of the items in the room that she didn’t recognize, amazed she had gotten there, and was living in a fantasy, even for just one day.

She decided it was time to get out of bed, and begin her day, with a trace of subtle hope in her heart that today would somehow be great, better than the days before. She hoped that today would be truly memorable, and she would finally experience happy moments and meet people, and see places, that she would remember for the rest of her life, however long or short that may turn out to be. She walked to the curtains that hung over the window, opening them with a touch of unnecessary dramatic flair, and allowed her eyes to take in the sights that were outside her window all around her. Sometimes, waking up and seeing something unexpected can be a truly beautiful gift, and she felt that way right now, as her eyes perused the different landscape that lay outside her tiny room. She nearly forgot the usual part of her routine, as she was taken aback by the reality of the situation she was currently in. How had this even happened, she wondered to herself, lost in the daydream of an early morning in an unusual place. She felt nearly happy, at least for a few minutes, until that sinking, aching feeling returned to her stomach, and slowly began to consume her again, something she was all too familiar with. An odd feeling, one she had most mornings, that she couldn’t quite explain, and couldn’t quite shake. Something just felt off, wrong, odd somehow, yet she never could figure out why. It seemed no matter where she was, that aching was sure to follow, its loyalty was almost admirable, she had to admit; that pain, that sadness, might be the most loyal thing in her life, and that made her horribly sad. She thought, being there, all of this would be left in the past, but alas, it followed, as she knew it would.

Charlie walked away from the window, to the bedside table where her small toiletries bag was. She reached in, and removed her all too familiar bottle, the one she’d sworn she wouldn’t bring, but did anyway because she couldn’t help herself. She prepared to count out seven pills, those seven pills, the ones that she had always counted every morning before, as part of her morning routine. She counted, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and laid them on the nightstand next to her bed, here in this lovely hotel room. She thought coming here would change everything, and suddenly she’d have the realization that life was worth living. But that feeling, that aching sadness could not be defeated, not even here. She was suddenly startled by the alarm on her phone going off, although she didn’t remember setting it; must be left over from the days before, she thought to herself. However, the alarm was not needed, as she had woken up 10 minutes before the alarm went off, as was usual for her; it was a familiar, almost comforting feeling, knowing that she always woke up without the help of her alarm, no matter what day it was, or where she happened to be. She walked to the bathroom, preparing to shower just like she did at home, prepared to live her last day, as Big Ben struck seven times; one, two, three…