How Much?

How much time ticked away
As each day
After day
I grew older
But not wiser
I grew up
But fell down
I had dreams so big
They could crush all of humanity
For they were certainly crushing me
Where did it all go?
All those minutes
Hours
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
I have no way to mark the time
No memories to guide me
So I know
I’ve been alive
I’m drowning in indifference
And aching sadness
Consuming my mind
Like a dense fog
In the early morning
Unwilling to lift
Until broken
By light of day
My soul is hit by a tidal wave
And it shakes me to my core
I stumble and fall
And I must teach myself
To remain on my two feet
At what age
Do I become strong
And sturdy?
Time cracks me open
And all of my rambling thoughts
And pointless daydreams
Come pouring out
Like the explosion of a star
Or a comet streaking midnight sky
And I feel full of light
Hurtling into endless night
Eternal darkness
My mind gets lost in dark matter
And I am left with time in my hands
Spilling out
Like water I cannot hold
As my tears mix in
And create a mess
Of broken dreams
And lost life
Broken hearts
And lost time.

Original Work: KH 11/20/14