The Box

I have a box
It’s as big as my love was for you
Sitting high on a shelf
Where I can’t reach it
I’m too short
Only you can reach it
You of great height
Long limbs
Big hands
I don’t forget
The Box
It holds a plethora of broken memories
Everything
That still makes my heart sad
And ache endlessly
All those little things
Those memories of you
And everything you were to me

Your old aviators you refused to toss
Concert tickets from those summer nights
That leather journal you gave to me
To match yours
Mostly I just wrote about you
And little words that made me think of your green eyes
I don’t use it anymore
It’s collecting dust between the pages
A plane ticket to see you
When you were home in London
And the Atlantic dared separate us
I would have rowed it to get to you
You came to see me too
And I loved how you loved me
You heart was too big
But that’s why I loved to love you
Three of your concert tees
The ones you loved to wear
The Stones, Zeppelin, and Pink Floyd
Wish you were here
I still hear Going To California
It rings in my ears
Those old books we bought at the flea market in Greenwich
Your book of Bukowski
I made you read some Emily Dickinson
You liked her and I was pleased
The lyrics you scribbled on a napkin at the pub
You had a beautiful voice
And loved a pint
I still remember what you liked to drink
Wherever we were
You knew my favorite drinks too
And how if I didn’t like Guinness in Dublin
I wouldn’t like it anywhere
I still have little videos on my computer
But I made someone else set the password
I can’t open them anymore
So many things, I can’t bear to remember them all

That box sits and is never touched
I just can’t look into it again
It will be the last thing that remains after the apocalypse
The last memory of love on Earth
So many things that mean nothing except that my heart was broken
Things that I don’t want
But can’t part with
I don’t want them
I want you
But you’re a million miles away
That’s why I keep the box so high
So I don’t have a chance to get my hands on it
And choke on the memories
And my tears
The only person who could reach it
Is you…
Maybe one day.

Original Work: KH 8/3/14

The Long Way Home

he chose to walk home a different way
where memories of her could be kept at bay
where he wouldn’t smell the flowers that laced her perfume
or the sound of church bells that could have been their future tune
he took the long way home
where she couldn’t hide behind corners
or lurk in dark shadows
where he wouldn’t see that bakery
where he got her cake last year
the one with the roses in purple
she loved that because it was unique
but along the canal he walked and thought
his music on shuffle and pummeling his ear drums
he shouldn’t have chosen music today
for the long walk to home and away
for just as he felt the ghost of her
lift off his back
that song came on
that song
that song
the one they used to sing
and every moment
every breath
came rushing into his mind
his heart
and he felt it all
a pit in his stomach
he saw everything
flash before his eyes
every day
every hour
every minute
and suddenly she filled the world
and he smelled those flowers wafting through the air
and the church bells began to ring as a new hour struck
and there she was in the shadows
all of it was back forever
and there was nothing he could do
he closed his eyes and took a breath
he took out his iPod and hit next
he turned the corner to find his pub
he saw the lads waiting with a pint already on the table
he smiled and tried to forget her and their fable.

Original Work: KH 8/3/14

The Bed

We moved the bed
That day in September
When summer finally breathed its last breath
That year
And autumn had made herself known
When the sun was shining on the leaves
They had begun to change into their fall colors
Slight hints of gold mixed with green
The sunlight was softer than it had been
So we placed the bed against the wall
Facing the west
So the sun could set against the rolling hills
And we could watch from beneath our cool white sheets
Just my skin and yours
A tangle of limbs
And your lips
Which I could write sonnets about
That evening we stripped to nothing
How we liked to be
Just free
And opened that bottle of Jameson
Poured two glasses
Set the record player so the vinyl ached our song
And got beneath the sheets
To watch the sun begin her journey
Beneath the horizon again
And the room was filled with light
Until we were awash in shades of warm glow
And those white sheets were painted gold
We loved
We slept
We awoke
The sun had left us during dreaming hours
The clouds had appeared overnight
And rain began to drum against the roof and windows
Playing her autumn greeting
But I didn’t need the sun that morning
Her light was unnecessary
Because I turned onto my left side
To see your face
And as your eyelids fluttered
And I met your green eyes with mine
I realized we didn’t need to move the bed
I didn’t care for sunsets
I didn’t need the sun that morning
I had all the light of a sunrise
As I felt you look at me
I felt the warmth and glow of eternal light
And as long as I had your eyes
I’d never need another sunset
Or sunrise.

Original Work: KH 8/3/14